I will be haunted by the words I wish were unsaid.
The ones I used to destroy someone's understanding,
I crowned my voice and shattered the human heart.
"Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion." (Surah Ali 'Imran: 135)
Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die. Dumb ways to di-i-ie so many dumb ways to die.
Don't tell me you didn't sing it. It's that song and game, made to show us ways which you can die out of "dumbness." As I was singing it in my head this morning (it's a catchy song) I started pondering on the idea of it. How can there be a dumb way to die? Let's think about it.
We never had a good relationship. Either I was too busy for her, or she was too busy for me. I never understood her. Always got upset. Always judged what she was doing, and had the worst perspective of her. Especially for her future. I could see it all going down in ruins for her. Imagined so many hardships and no relief. Because of the way she lived her life. Carelessly. What could I do? I wanted to be friends with her, but the more time we spent together, the more I wanted to forget about her. Her rights. And my responsibilities towards her.
Something great I've learned recently is we are defined by the behavior we choose in situations and the actions we take to deal with them. I didn't learn this life lesson in the best of circumstances, but at least I learned it. If I am given so much free time, the way I spend it says a lot about who I am. What social media does for me (this is specific to my situation and may differ from yours) is it gives me relief from stressful situations. Does something for the chemicals in my brain (Dopamine, is that you?) and I start to use it as an escape for my problems. Constantly.
My prayer mat becomes my flat Iphone screen. My Quran becomes the endless Instagram feed. My beliefs slowly start slipping away at the looks of beautified [non]sense.
Some things go together, some things don't. Have you ever thought of what the synonym of synonym is? Easy. The same, alike, etc. What about the antonym for synonym? Gotcha. Let's try to get to the point today.
These past few months have been beautiful. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that holding an opinion and sticking to it firmly is not an evil characteristic. Being kind to yourself and to others at the same time, however you may choose to do it, isn't either. And neither is taking a break. A nice and long 6-month break twice a year. Just kidding. Okay, maybe a 2 week break short of 2 days might be equivalent. And did I mention alone? I know that may not be a big deal for you, but as a weak, dependent, woman, it's time for my formation. Just kidding. New York, New York, here I com- wrong tense. Because I've already went and I'm back!
Travelling is never short of any of my expectations. Here's my trick: I have no expectations. Yes, I have dreams of taking Basic Instagram Worthy Pictures (captured below). Yes, I let my hosts know of my #1 tourist locations, and yes, I pray to be sitting gleefully at the boarding area 45 minutes before departure. But my love, if life is a journey and things don't always go our way, how can we assume that our short uncontrolled travels will?
The following is very messy and unorganized. Also very raw. Reader discretion is advised. C'mon, let a girl think.
Cooking is a dirty job. First of all, you get ordered around like a camel carrying goods. "This way, no that way.." sounds very similar to "cut this, no stir that.." and that's why I had always decided cooking just is not for me. To be honest, I hated cooking. Or so I thought.
You see, not many people are able to help me cook. Their main frustration comes from the fact that I'm left-handed. First of all, I didn't choose the right-brained life, it chose me. Second of all, kitchen utensils are catered towards the vast majority. Righties. My grandma is the only one who has actually been able to stand me. It's because she doesn't care whether I'm able to use the knife/pan/scissors: you bet she's still going to make me use them.
"O you who have believed, do not put [yourselves] before Allah and His Messenger but fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Hearing and Knowing." - Quran 49:1 (Sahih International)
"The best among you are those who have the best manners and character." - Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
"I am not what happened to me, I am what I chose to become." - Carl Jung
"The function of leadership is to create more leaders, not followers." - Ralph Nader
"You have never had to steal my breath or take it away, somehow you have always managed to convince me to hand it over freely." - Tyler Knott Gregson
"These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb." - Najwa Zebian
"I finally understand that I do not write, I leak." - Tyler Knott Gregson
"I am too little butter on too much bread. I am too many thoughts in too little head." - Tyler Knott Gregson
"How can land be owned by another man...is the sky owned by birds and the river owned by fish." - Lupe Fiasco
"Who you are, what you think, feel, and do, what you love—is the sum of what you focus on." - Carl Newport
"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw
"The pain leaves bit by bit. Be patient. You are healing." - Yasmin Mogahed
"An image I always like is of a circle of knowledge — but as the circle grows, as the diameter increases, so does the circumference that’s in contact with all that darkness outside the circle of light — that ignorance." - Stuart Firestein
"Sometimes the only way to catch your breath is to lose it completely." - Tyler Knott Gregson
"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. Once that belief becomes deep conviction, things begin to happen." - Muhammad Ali
"Love isn't soft, like those poets say. Love has teeth which bite and the wounds never close." - Stephen King
"To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or a rainbow in its climbing, falling colors." - Maya Angelou
"What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible." - Theodore Roethke
"Travelling. It leave you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller." - Ibn Battuta
"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." - Rose Kennedy
"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." - Dr. Seuss
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. – Robert Louis Stevenson