 Sometimes you have to go on a date with yourself - 365 days a year. If you don't, who will? We never had a good relationship. Either I was too busy for her, or she was too busy for me. I never understood her. Always got upset. Always judged what she was doing, and had the worst perspective of her. Especially for her future. I could see it all going down in ruins for her. Imagined so many hardships and no relief. Because of the way she lived her life. Carelessly. What could I do? I wanted to be friends with her, but the more time we spent together, the more I wanted to forget about her. Her rights. And my responsibilities towards her.
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Something great I've learned recently is we are defined by the behavior we choose in situations and the actions we take to deal with them. I didn't learn this life lesson in the best of circumstances, but at least I learned it. If I am given so much free time, the way I spend it says a lot about who I am. What social media does for me (this is specific to my situation and may differ from yours) is it gives me relief from stressful situations. Does something for the chemicals in my brain (Dopamine, is that you?) and I start to use it as an escape for my problems. Constantly.
My prayer mat becomes my flat Iphone screen. My Quran becomes the endless Instagram feed. My beliefs slowly start slipping away at the looks of beautified [non]sense. Some things go together, some things don't. Have you ever thought of what the synonym of synonym is? Easy. The same, alike, etc. What about the antonym for synonym? Gotcha. Let's try to get to the point today.
These past few months have been beautiful. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that holding an opinion and sticking to it firmly is not an evil characteristic. Being kind to yourself and to others at the same time, however you may choose to do it, isn't either. And neither is taking a break. A nice and long 6-month break twice a year. Just kidding. Okay, maybe a 2 week break short of 2 days might be equivalent. And did I mention alone? I know that may not be a big deal for you, but as a weak, dependent, woman, it's time for my formation. Just kidding. New York, New York, here I com- wrong tense. Because I've already went and I'm back! Travelling is never short of any of my expectations. Here's my trick: I have no expectations. Yes, I have dreams of taking Basic Instagram Worthy Pictures (captured below). Yes, I let my hosts know of my #1 tourist locations, and yes, I pray to be sitting gleefully at the boarding area 45 minutes before departure. But my love, if life is a journey and things don't always go our way, how can we assume that our short uncontrolled travels will? The following is very messy and unorganized. Also very raw. Reader discretion is advised. C'mon, let a girl think. |
